WHY?!

Humility. how I wish I could be humble. God has been teaching me so much this ten days since I wrote last. God has tested my response to difficult situations. He's tested my patience, He's tested my willingness to drop to my knees and ask Him. He's tested my willingness to let to of things I thought would work out, but did not. He's tested me in the area of spending time with Him even though I have "so many things to do" and no time to do them.

I'll give you the gist of all these tests that God has been teaching me through, and some of these have been in less than 3 hours. So I've been listening to a message that you can find in Utube BTW. It is by Paul Washer, I totally recommend it =D. And while listening to this awesome message that he gave to about 5,000 kids in the '90's in a conference, He talks about how through faith we repent of our sins, and through that we seek Him for his guidance. What caught my eye was that "we repent of our sins." When was the last time I repented for something that I knew was wrong but I still did it. I probably should not write it because it would take a while. Please understand what I'm trying to tell you, this is vital for us as Christians, I was talking to a friend of mine after Ice skating for a few hours. I told him that the way I saw a good friend is that he or she would make me or encourage me to seek God and to search myself through the Word of God. being blessed by a friend like that is AWESOME. because being able to put God's standards before anything or any other is hard.

I grew up without a dad. My dad left home when I was six years old. and I haven't seen him since. but the thing is, when I was younger, my hope was to be accepted by my friends (I didn't have many friends, most of the time I would play by myself). and because I wanted to be accepted I was like them, I talked like them, I smelled like them (I probably took more showers than they did). I was PRETENDING I was lying to myself! I wasn't me because I was scared that they wouldn't like "ME." I was also Very Very short, skinny, and cute. lol so I got pushed around, laughed at, and rejected. I wondered why, I thought I was doing so well, "JUST like them." long story short, I went through this conference called "Journey to the Heart" that lasted 10 days. (ill explain more about this conference in the future). In 2007 I had just turned 14 six days before. same time I got my first study bible. (this was already a good start), there was even lots of snow. loved it! so through this 10 days in the woods of Michigan, I learned through God's Word that I didn't need to be like "them." They will let me down, dad let me down. They will promise and break promises. BUT, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN. I learned what "Abiding in the Presence of the most High" meant. not having to pretend. being me with the God that would be the BEST Father, and the only Father I really needed.

That was not the last "Journey to the Heart" I went to. I'm still working on it, I'm still learning, God is still teaching me, pretty sure I can't skip classes on that one. So friend, don't let the circumstances let you down. Look up to God and His Word. live up to what He wants you to be. Abide in the presence and see what He can do.

I sorta went into a rabbit trail. The testing I was talking about earlier, I am so thankful that I am tested and tried. I dare you to do something hard, and that is to thank God whenever you are tripped over or you just don't know why it is happening. Thank God, turn your murmuring into a time of praise to the Lord. THEN. You WILL dwell in the secret place of the most High. And will abide in shadow of the ALMIGHTY. there is no better place my friend. No better place than under His wings. (Psalm 91)

so much more I could say to you, but you will learn more through seeking His Word by yourself.

SO GET TO IT.

God bless you!!

~Ernesto